Helping with children’s behaviour

Talk and Listen

As we know, all children are unique.

Getting to know your own child, and knowing what makes them angry or agitated can help you prevent angry or upsetting situations before they happen.

Talking and listening to your child helps them to understand what’s going on:

Language:  Try to use positive words. Tell your child what you want them to do, not what you don’t want them to do. Instead of “don’t make such a mess” try “tidy up your toys please”. This is an example of positive parenting.

Change your tone: Your voice is a powerful tool. Sometimes changing your tone or volume can be enough to stop a fraught situation or get your child to do what you want. This can work equally well with older children. If you react or speak in a completely different manner to which they expected they might be surprised.

Listening: Your child is trying out his/her new language and needs to be heard. Encourage your child to talk to you – sit beside him/her–they’ll find it easier to talk and listen to you if you’re not standing over them.

Feelings: Help them find the words to tell you how they are feeling, even if it takes time.

Explaining: If you have to say ‘no’, give your child a good reason and offer an alternative –“Rosie is playing with the doll now, let’s find you another toy”.

Involve your child: Where possible talk with them about the rules and what you expect from them. Be clear.

Discussion: As they get older discuss the setting of rules with them.

Tell them you love them, and show them by smiling, cuddling and kissing them. Tell them when you are cross, or when you are not happy with their behaviour. They need to realise that it’s the behaviour you don’t like and not them.

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