It is a statistical improbability that a to-be-dad is reading this right now. It is generally the to-be-mom who is surfing the internet eager to learn everything about pregnancy, labor and delivery who then forwards the relevant videos or articles to her partner.
So all the confused to-be-dads who have done their part through the pregnancy to help ease the process for your wives and are not sure what role you play during labor and the delivery, we have prepared a list of tips for you to adhere to and give the best you want to give to your partners to help ease the process of labor and delivery in any means possible.
During labor the dad has to be present to hold his partners and provide the emotional support they very much need. In the delivery room, it’s generally the to-be-mom who has to do all the pushing, but the dad too plays a significant role in the birth of the child too. labor can be an overwhelming and scary experience for both the parents but it is essentially magical in the end as you get to witness first-hand and up close the miracle of life. Just by being there you are providing the much needed and deserved comfort, encouragement and the emotional strength needed for her to continue pushing.
Here are a few things you can do to help:
- Labor may be exciting in the sense that once it is over you are going to have a child or if you are lucky then two children in your arms, but it is also a very tedious process. You may have to spend hours simply waiting. You should remember while you are only restless due to the wait your wife is in major discomfort and hence you must engage her in conversation, or even play soothing music to help get her mind of the discomfort and make the entire process comfortable.
- Most first time to-be-dads tend to wait until they hear the ear-piercing screams due to the gut-wrenching pain of contractions to ask their partners what they would like for him to do to help with the pain. Instead have a plan in place, find out what she would like for you to do during those screams, find out how she feels about episiotomies and what she expects of her doctor. You best understand your partner and her demands and hence you can be her advocate and articulate the same and ensure that all her possible needs and wishes are met.
- Women even after having read hundreds of articles and seen plenty of videos still forget the most important thing during labor, which is to try and stay calm. Because you understand you partner best you are the best person to calm her down and ensure that her breathing pattern is in control and something as simple as singing a song she likes or even narrating the experience you have shared with her from marriage till her could do the trick and calm her down.
- You have to understand that your partner is in major discomfort because of which she may be on the edge and she may be a little blunter that usual. You must be understanding and grow a thick skin and patiently listen to her and concede to her demands as and when possible. Something as simple as counting during contractions along with the nurses may tick her off and if she indicates the same you simply stop, no questions asked. Many men tend to get queasy or even feel light headed as their partners get into labor, in such cases we recommend to take a seat for a few minutes or even step out for air if the contractions aren’t too close apart, because you wouldn’t want to miss the birth of your child.
- During laborthe mother is preoccupied with all the pushing she has to do, but if you manage to capture these moments on video or even with pictures then she will cherish those moments and memories for the rest of her life. Also, if you have a video camera discuss beforehand with your partner as to what she is comfortable with, with regards to many women not being comfortable with a camera directed between their legs. The most important thing to keep in mind while capturing these memories is that you must not be a hindrance to the doctors and nurses in the room who are assisting with the delivery.
- A few hours of wait, which seem endless, accompanied with sweat and tears the moment finally arrives where your little one enters this world. This is finally where you as a dad have a job which is directly related to helping with the delivery, he cutting of the umbilical cord. If you want to cut the cord be sure to let the doctor know and if you prefer to leave the task at hand to professions worrying you may mess up kindly decline. Expect to be overwhelmed by emotions at this point of time, this is the actual moment in time you finally accept and transition from a husband to a dad.
- If you think your work is done after your wife has given birth to your child or children then you are wrong. Your wife is resting and the baby is the nursery and you are done contacting all close friends and family. Once you are done with the calls you must realize that your wife has been through a lot and is tired and overwhelmed, this is a great time to show her how much you love her and how appreciative you are for her bearing your child, bring her favourite flowers, overspend on chocolates and even write her a small note with something she would love to read and cherish many years down the line from that moment.
There are only so many tips we can give, the best of all is to be alert and to expect the unexpected and be the rock your wife needs you to be through the entire process right from labor to birth. Best of luck to-be-dads we are sure if you be calm and adhere to our tips you will do just great.